Tuesday 6 May 2014

HOW FAR CAN ONE GO WITHOUT COURAGE, AND CONFIDENCE


          BENEFITS OF COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE

Life is indeed what you make it to be. I once thought that with life i could get whatever i wanted, little did i know that what you do in the present will affect what will happen in the future. When i was growing up i wanted to so much help those who were helpless, give them a place where they could be  appreciated and a reason for them to always look forward to tomorrow but one thing i know for sure  is that i lacked courage, and  confidence.

I grew up with only  wishes and expectations, and as  they say if wishes were  truly horses  every beggar would truly ride on them (in that case i would be the beggar). I kept on wishing and hoping but i never took the chance to actually take/make the first step. How i wish i did make that step has being the recurring song in my mind. If i accomplished that which i wanted to, when i was young i sure would be singing another song but as they say Gods time is always the best. If i started my mission way back there is so much that i know now, that i never knew back then, and as they say knowledge is power. I will not lie and say that there were never times when i did not want to use the little knowledge i had just to help another person, but is it better to help  a person from your heart and with facts, than to help a  person just because you think they need your help??????? That is left for you to answer.........

I gained the two vital things in my life ie( courage, and confidence) after i was diagnosed  with Epilepsy condition. It was traumatizing, Stressing and at the same time not  accepting what had already being diagnosed. With  time i  learnt to accept myself and also try and give the society hope, love, and as much as one cant understand another persons weaknesses, i decided to do that which is termed as out of reach.

My main objective so far is to create awareness, give hope to the hopeless, be my brothers/ sisters keeper and  all  this i am  capable of doing  because i have gained courage, and confidence and because i have a goal i want to achieve and with success. I am a mentor to so many people and that is one of the things i thought i could  not do, but  surprisingly it happens to be one of the things that i do best. Having gone through so much while growing up, and my ideas ignored just because i live with the Epilepsy condition made me want to show the world that Epilepsy  is just a condition and one that will not stop me from achieving my childhood dream of making the world a better living place for people living with Epilepsy condition.

Many may still continue to term it as  the Devils decease, an outcast, or even say that WE are cursed but one thing i will tell the people who live with the condition is one: accepting to be stigmatized will surely drag you behind, but if you accept yourself and know that you have as much a right as the rest, then you will surely go far. That is what i did with myself and my  friends as i can see, i know that the sky is my only limit.
Basicneeds kenya has played its own part by laying a platform for me, all that is left is for me to take the first step and of which i have. Accepting my condition and using my gained knowledge to create awareness is my first step to my success, and giving to the world without accepting a thing in return and especially to those who  live with Epilepsy condition and the Mentally ill people that is an objective achieved with success. COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE HAS TRULY TAKEN ME TO GREATER HEIGHTS.
   

Tuesday 15 April 2014

FEAR OF THE UNTOLD

Growing up in fear, regret, isolation, and ignorance. What else could a soul trying to survive ask for:
Having lived in fear, seen the worst that life could offer, i was not going to ask for more. I thought that with all life had surfaced and to its benefit i would overcome this monster in the form of fear.
I had grown up with the feeling of the unwanted in the place i thought  or supposed was my home. Life was not a bed of roses and  as  they say, if you want to achieve anything in life you have to start  by making the 1st step.
Domestic violence has one way or another contributed to my having epilepsy condition, but who would have thought that, that fear will end up saving a life. Still in the dark, this is what i mean:
In 2003 when i was in form 1 i had my first seizure due to stress which accumulated inside and kept burning me inside. I was so afraid of others that even sharing my problems was impossible. simply;
I grew up without friends, not once did i think that my isolation would lead to great grief in the end. I had this fear in me about the way my life was completely pathetic. I tried my level best to fit in this world but it was so impossible,1st considering i was sick and 2nd  having no one to share with added more  salt to the injury.
NB: My  fellow friends, if you  know you are going through a tough time in life try as much as possible not to ignore the fact there are people who can  be of great help.
Later in life my seizures became worse to a point where i now had to be hospitalized. Thats where all hell broke loose for me, being diagnosed with epilepsy and having nurses who thought that it was pretense to a point where they would not take care of you even when you are hospitalized made it worse.
I even remember my doctor giving me 5 types of tablets which added to 16 tablets in a day and for her trying to adjust them so that they would work with my body. Feeling drowsy all the time, trying to talk to a counselor was like hell for me but with time i learnt to associate with others and even view my ideas and thus my keen interest with people living with epilepsy condition.
After  12 yrs of living with the condition, all i want to do is create awareness on epilepsy and Domestic Violence in connection to Mental health. My life might have been miserable but that does not mean that another soul has to go through the same ordeal. If that was to happen then i do not think i would ever forgive myself.
I know what domestic violence can do to a person, and having that knowledge am not just going to lie low and let another be affected, but rather will do my level best to make another persons life bearable.
Later in life i learn t that my fear can become my strength, my voice can save a life, and by caring i can be giving another person a reason to live again and with that am ready to even die just so another person can enjoy the fruits of their labor.
NB; I have met a friend in life who has helped me see reason to smile again, made me have courage  to fulfill my childhood dream, strength to overcome the hardships, and energy to always have a smiling face. Thanks to you i have a reason to smile again. Lani you are one in a million.
ANN.N.MWANGI aka(shanstyvs) was born an epileptic free lady, only developed the condition because she did not have anyone to show her that there is light even after darkness, happiness after sorrow, and that life continued even with hardships. She came to learn of all this the hard way, but she wont let another go through the same. Life is too precious to live with regrets and even a second of your time spent unhappy can never be recovered. I will make sure that the lives of many people out there becomes bearable, that so many will always look forward to  tomorrow and that their tomorrow will always brighten their days.
I might not have had the chance to be happy always, but that does not mean that i wont make another persons life bearable.
Sitawa who happens to be my  mentor, friend, and big sister has made me see that the strength of a woman can take one far, and with determination one can actually get to greater heights. Thanks so much Sitawa.
Last but not least lets all unite and fight the epilepsy stigma, domestic violence, and mental health degradation. If we want to achieve a thing in life lets learn to be our brothers/sisters keeper.
Epilepsy will not drag me down but instead, will continue to strengthen me into trying to make others happy and by creating awareness i will make sure that no  one is left out. My long life dream is to open a children's home and by Gods grace, i know i will.
 

Friday 28 March 2014

LOVE, CARE, AND AFFECTION.



                     
Ann n Mwangi is what they call me. I was born on 24th September 1988 in Gatanga. i grew up in Gatanga until i was 3 years. when i reached 3 years i enrolled to baby class but in a different location that is in Juja where i have lived up to now. i am a 2nd born in a family of 6.
currently i am at basic needs Kenya in a fellowship acquiring knowledge on mental health.
its a fellowship which has so far helped me to understand more on mental health and considering i also have epilepsy condition. many may not understand why the keen interest on mental health but its something that i have always wanted to do ever since  i was little and so its a childhood dream that i want to accomplish.

Also there is this lovely lady who goes by the name SITAWA who has also shown me the light. many are still in the dark but this is what i mean:

Trying to lead by example. i have lived, seen, and also have some living testimony on how people not to mind about their background are been treated with so much animosity. I have lived with epilepsy for 12yrs and as they say life

is not a bed of roses and especially when you have a weakness as they call it. Not so many people understand the weaknesses of others.I do not know why everything that's said and done all revolves around the things or through the devils disease as they call it. Epilepsy as we  are made to believe is an outcast, demon possession and many more but with me i have come to know the message behind epilepsy. Instead of bad mouthing the people who live with the condition i have decided to take another direction of creating awareness through my own experience with epilepsy condition.

I have lived with it, been criticized and also ignored but that did not pull me down instead it only created enough space for me to wanna help others. I might not be a doctor but one thing i do know or have learnt is to always have affection when it comes to "us" the people with epilepsy.
Learning to embrace each others problems and helping them live to their expectations is my main objective and nothing is going to stop me from achieving my long aimed goal. Having lived with the condition and seen the ups and downs that come along with it motivates me to want to do or reach the unreachable, aim for the best and surely with GODS help i sure will accomplish that which my heart desires.

I also want to start a children s home in the near future. Give those who don't have a place to call their home,
somewhere they can call home. As we all know home is not only having a roof over your head but rather having people who love, care, and embrace you surround you. To me, that is what i call home and by GODS grace i know i will give these people a place they can proudly call HOME. Lets not think that a person who has epilepsy cant do something to help themselves and others, if you give them a chance then
you will be surprised by how much they can do.

   < LOVE, CARE, AND AFFECTION WILL SURELY SEE THE AFFECTED THROUGH >